Sarah Milton
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Memories, generations and multiple femininities
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In this chapter, life history interviews ‘orientate’ during what was experienced at first as an uncertain and disorientating time. Putting the ethnographic detail of the salsa classes in the context of life stories also orientates the ethnography upon which the book rests in a wider context, providing a deeper understanding of practices of heterosexuality and femininity that have taken generations to form, multiply and evolve. The chapter begins with the jubilation of change in the ‘second stage’ of the women’s lives, where salsa classes were one of many recent changes. Certain lifestyles and interdependencies were perceived of as generational and women distanced themselves from their mothers’ ways of ageing. Drawing on the writings of historians of gender relations, love and marriage and sociologists of contemporary feminism and intimacy, the chapter situates these emancipatory and transitional narratives within the social histories of post-war changes to selfhood and relationships. Despite being enthused about freedom from familial ties, stories show the women are ever-intwined in family relationships and in some cases ‘freedom’ was facilitated by their families. In another layer of complexity, extracts from the interviews reveal deep nostalgia for the durable relationships of their parents’ generation, idealising and aspiring towards these durable, long-term relationships. Finally, current dating practices are described in which multiple femininities and desires played out. A multitude of often conflicting ideals and expectations surrounding ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ femininities circulated at the same time, shaped by normative understandings of gender, generation and age. Yet they were always produced as respectable.

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Ageing and new intimacies

Gender, sexuality and temporality in an English salsa scene

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